I met Alex around the end of the holiday season 2009, we were still getting a feel for each other, and she was being pretty flighty. So we really didn't start going out regularly until the beginning of February 2010.
Our first real date was actually on valentines day. I kept racking my brain over what I should or should not do to mark the occasion. Didn't want to get flowers or anything like that, and then I thought wouldn't it be funny if I got fake flowers. Fake flowers led me to the thought of those flowers that magicians have, where they pull them out and wallah! Flowers! That thought led me to a scavenger hunt to find a real magic shop, which led me to purchase of said flowers and a magic wand. Both of which she still holds in a vase.
But this post isn't about our relationship persay. It's about the holidays that year.
Alex traveled a lot. She had a part time gig in her families firm as a consultant for business expo's. She was gone most times for a few days. The holidays were no different. Her family lived in Florida, so she would go there to visit.
Thanksgiving was approaching and we talked about what we would do. I offered to come with her. To spend time with her. But she didn't want to take me away from my family. So instead we did thanksgiving at our apartment, and invited family and friends over to join us on the Sunday before thanksgiving. We did the whole spread, drank, played games, and ended up capping the evening off at a local dessert place.
That brings us to Christmas time. Alex and I always shared a love of the holidays. We'd carve pumpkins, roast seeds, and go to costume parties for Halloween. We'd do the fireworks for the 4th, finding somewhere to grill out. St pattys day, I'd dress up as a leprechaun and she'd wear some outlandish green and white striped concoction with green stars on her head. So Christmas was a natural fit for us.
She had a tree in a box in the closet. We really could have just used that one. But we decided since it was our first year together to get new stuff, and a real tree.
Anyone that knows me, or should I say at least has been with me knows why I always want a real one. It's because fake trees can't usually support the tree toppers that I'd want to use. And the topper of the tree is everything. So we went out shopping for decorations, decided on stockings for the cats.
There was a Home Depot not too far from home, so we did the whole real tree thing of strapping it to the roof, and schlepping it home. We got it home and put it in it's stand and decided that we wanted to make a whole thing of decorating it. So we saved it for the next day.
I for some reason thought that I'd love hot buttered rum, and Alex, well she never met a form of rum she didn't enjoy. So I made a whole log of brown sugar, butter, clove and nutmeg. We heated the rum up on the stove and plopped our brown sugar slices into mugs. It produced the worst tasting holiday beverage I've ever tasted, and mind you I still can't bring myself to drink eggnog. Alex was sweet though. She said it was good, and choked it down enough to be believable, even though the remainder of that log lived in our freezer the duration of the time we lived in that apartment.
We went to the local target and decided on a color scheme. She let me pick the topper. I big copper star. All nice and heavy. Unlit so it didn't look cheesy.
We spent the rest of the night taking our time putting the tree up, talking about Christmas' past. We talked about what Christmas meant to us, what we'd like it to be. I told my family that she'd be joining us. She decided to do Christmas early with her parents so we could spend the day together.
That's not to say we weren't going through some tough times. She was in danger of getting laid off. A danger that proved to be right. She had only been called back recently to work and after a month of her working things were just starting to ease up a little. But I could see the stress in her. All I could think of was trying to make things better. I told her that no matter what I'd keep us afloat.
I ended up buying her something's I knew she wanted, and needed. She traveled a lot so I bought her a nook. She was an avid reader and loved reading on the plane. She wanted a video camera, so I did research and bought one from b&h. She wanted to start documenting our life and things we did. I remember her using it later on taping me playing disc golf the first time. My first toss I ended up throwing a ten dollar frisbee onto a roof. We watched it later and she made fun, and we laughed and laughed. I said I should have taped the camera to the frisbee.
The last gift wasn't really a gift at all. She had a pair of headphones that had a short in the wire. She taped those things up so much and so often. But finally they crapped out on her. She hated using the pair of crappy earbuds so much. So I looked up a place to have them fixed. Picked them up a day or two later. I think it cost me 15 bucks to fix. So I wrapped those up too.
Christmas Eve came, and we sat on the floor listening to Christmas music. Trying to keep cats out of being wrapped up along with the gifts. We shared in each other's traditions. Hers was a bottle of champagne and potatoe chips, mine was watching the best Christmas movies ever...bad Santa and die hard. Another of my traditions is that I can't keep a surprise to save my life so I made her open the video camera so she could use it Christmas morning. She was happy and immediately handed it to me to set up as is my job in most relationships. I'm the tech nerd. I soon discoverd that I forgot a sd card, but being as it was a sony product I just took the memory out of my play station to fix that problem.
That night as I went, or as it usually was, I was called to bed, I was pretty happy. I went to bed with knowing that the person I'd wake up with was someone I loved and who loved me. Someone that made an effort. Someone that took the time everyday to make me feel important. Just the little things. Telling me to hurry home. Meeting me at work so we could go home together. I slept without worry of her not being there the next day. Little did I know that it'd be the last time, or that I wouldn't have that feeling since.
Christmas morning came, and after sleeping in a bit I woke up first. I got up and went into the kitchen and made breakfast and coffee. And while the biscuits were in the oven, I walked into the bedroom with a premade cup of coffee. I sat on the bed with both our cups of coffee and leaned over and kissed her forehead awake. She smiled and said, "coffee for me?" I told her that I made breakfast as well. "And breakfast?" Yup.
We sat down and ate breakfast, watching the parade on tv. Both in our pj's, or should I say both in mine. After we were done I asked if she wanted to open presents. So we did. She loved her nook. And immediately she wanted me to sync her Barnes and noble account. I smiled because I know she's smart enough to figure it out, but she's also smart enough to know that nothing makes me feel more important than setting up electronics.
She tore open the last gift and she immediately threw her arms around my head. The twenty dollar repair was the winner. And I kind of knew it would be. It was the most thoughtful gift of them all. Knowing what she needed and wanted most and being sneaky in getting the repaired for her made it special.
After we were done, and sitting on the floor playing with our new toys, we just hung out until early afternoon.
We spent the rest of the day hanging out with my family. Drinks were consumed, dinner was eaten, presents were opened. She was amazed at how laid back it was with my family. We're not cheesy, we don't make airs. She was also taken aback at the amount of stuff she recieved from them. One thing about my family is they'll go out of their way to make you feel welcome. "I think they gave me more stuff than they gave you." Yup. That wasn't by accident.
New Year's Eve was a little different. Awhile back I saw one of my favorite bands was playing a show nye. I really wanted to go to that show. I was growing tired of going out and getting plastered every nye, so I thought a show would be cool. One day while I was working late oct, Alex texted me about her favorite band playing that night. I asked her how much tickets were. I knew at that moment that that's the show we'd go see.
She had been down about work, life, and a lack of friends. I asked what her best friend was planning that night and she said that she was going to be out of town. I wanted to make sure raft there wasn't other options where she might have more fun. So I bought the tickets.
That night before the concert we stopped at the liquor store and picked up a bottle of champagne to enjoy at home after the concert.
Nye I worked, I hurried home, I got dressed up, as did Alex. Everything seemed alright. We walked to the concert, braving the cold. We sat up in the balcony for the first act. Then her band came on. We wandered down to the main floor. Just before midnight as they were doing the countdown, I looked over to see her eyes welled with tears. I saw one tumble down her cheek.
I asked her if everything was alright, if she wanted to leave. I asked if it was something I did. She said, "no honey, you're great." She forced a smile for me. We kissed at midnight. A long deep meaningful kiss. But those tears told me everything.
She was unhappy with her life. Not unhappy with me, but as hard as I tried I couldn't take the place of friends, a good job doing something that she loved. A town that she loved as much as I loved it here.
Six months later she'd be gone, but that Christmas was the last I remember being happy, being fulfilled.
C'mon Santa. I know I've been on that good boy list for awhile now. Maybe it's the fact that what I want can't be made by little elves.
i wish she would have stayed.
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