Should I stay or should I go

I'm in the same conundrum that I was in two years ago.

I'm post relationship, feeling the same empty void that I did then. I moved from the apartment that I was staying in just as I did then.  I'm going through the reasons I have to stay just as I did then. I'm meeting new people just as I did then trying to find new reasons to stay.  But it's different this time. I feel like I've finally met my match and I lost.

I love this city, I've given my all. But I feel like a ghost wandering down it's streets these days. No love given, none given back. New street. New neighborhood, but the smiling faces are gone. The familiar has become strange to me now.  Walks to the commute are different, I've changed the scenery, but the scenery hasn't changed me.  

I've been beckoned by my brother to come run his security firm in bumblefuck Kentucky. I could go, and live comfortably. Make good money, have health insurance, and probably buy a house.  Maybe it's time to give up hope of finding solace here in this city. Maybe it's time for me to learn that in the great lyrics of Matt and Kim.  "Concrete and cracks won't cut you deals"

I love you chicago, you just never loved me back. 

and even though it was written about New York, I think this fits how I feel about Chicago right now as well: