The other night that came about was a friend of a friends hot dog fest. It was strange last year, because out of the blue I started talking to Texas ex that same evening. I arrived late after work to find my friend already about half a case of beer in. I worked the room a bit and got to know some new people, but the majority of my evening was spent:
1. Eating copious amounts of hot dogs. There were 12 different dogs, topped all different ways. Everything from a hot dog wrapped in a mini pizza, to a 2 foot gourmet dog on a hoagie, to the classic twinkie wiener sandwich. Not nearly as nasty as it sounds.
2. Texting my ex from Texas. I'll refer to her as A from now on. It was strange to me that she was texting me but it was nice to kind of keep up.
3. Keeping an eye on my drunk friend. For some reason he decided he couldn't pee until after he had 12 beers in him first. I love that guy to death, but he makes me scratch my head sometimes.
4. Texting married ex. Which from now on, just like the past blog I'm going to refer to as K. This was the most important one for me. But on that night as we exchanged texts back and forth it just seemed like we were trying to one up each other. She told me of how they went out on a walk, and had gone out to sonic. It made me jealous, which I guess was the point.
Which brings me to this year. Both of these fell on the same day. I spent a lot of time between talking to people and playing weird Swedish lawn games, thinking about K. Wondering what it would be like to have her there. I imagined her hob knobbing between people that were there, maybe even getting a lead on a new job there. Probably joining in and being my partner during one of the rounds of the game. Probably shaking her head at me a few times. I'd like to think that she'd have had a great time. But then again maybe she'd have wanted to do the run instead. And as good as a time as I had at the hot dog thing, I'd have went with her. Why? Because I had a great time last year, and there'll be another hot dog fest next year.
I think we're put on this earth to inspire each other. We're here to cheer each other on. To look at the person you're with and see that there are things that they need, voids that they may have that need to be fulfilled. Sometimes all we need is the encouragement of someone else to take that first baby step. Sometimes its just that itch that we cant scratch. The help with the first sentence of a page or letter may come from them, and then you go on to write a great book.
Maybe its the fact that they care about us as we do ourselves that make us step out of ourselves and become more than we ever thought we could. Maybe its finding that one person that risks everything knowing its against the odds, against every one's advice.
Its the only way I know how to live.
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